SOOOO…shampoo’s and conditioners come in plastic bottles and seeing as I recently took the vow, under oath: Thou shalt not buy any new plastics...I’ve been searching for an alternative like a demon! I mean, I’m all for the cause and I could suffer for my art, if I wanted to, and I’m definitely feeling the environmentalist vibes but I’m not sure that I’m ready to stop washing altogether!
I wondered to myself “what did folks do before the days of Vidal Sassoon and Herbal Essences”? We take it for granted nowadays, the market is saturated with ridiculous concoctions and we are constantly reminded through TV commercials how bloody important it is to keep those tresses primped and preened!! So, feeling curious I gave myself a quick history lesson in shampoos through the ages! (in no particular order)

DANG! My hairs like wire bloody wool!

GLADIATORS READY?!

Apparently Ancient Romans viewed shampooing as a bit of chore so very rarely did it. They had far more important things to be doing such as watching Gladiators kill each other in grizzly fashion, or re-writing history to suit their own political needs, or engaging in illicit sexy times with family members. However, when/if they did wash their hair they would use an attractive mixture of animal fats and ashes. This heady mix was so harsh that many would have been walking around with hair do’s resembling a used Brillo pad! Because of this most people would simply shave their heads.  The elite and privileged would then don elaborate wigs and headdresses.

GAME OF THRONES

If you were unlucky enough to be born a peasant during medieval times chances were you would probably NEVER wash your hair. This would be the last thing on your mind seeing as you were living a slave existence and spent your whole life working your filthy fingers to the bone JUST to pay your wages to the church and lords in taxes. The fear of hell-for-your-sins was so deeply terrorized into them by the church that they just got on with it, filthy hair and all without so much as a murmur! In fact during these grim times you would probably experience only two baths in your entire existence, one at birth and one when you carked it!

WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN

The Egyptians on the other hand were incredibly vain, they would style their hair with animal fat based products to enhance appearance and really show off their individuality, not really washing as such, but damn they would have looked good! Even after death their loved ones would maintain their ‘do’…because who wants to walk into the afterlife with a bad hair day?! Mummified remains have been found with impeccably preserved hair in a whole range of trendy styles.

OOOOOH, your hairs dead shiny!

Back to the mission in hand…after months of brewing in my dungeon and testing on my own poor tresses I think I may have found the solution! Its plastic free and entirely devoid of any harsh chemicals, double win! This is a recipe that even the Romans might have used it’s so EASY!

SHAMPOO RECIPE

Now listen carefully, this is the scientific bit, just one magical ingredient…Bicarbonate of Soda. That’s it. WOAH MAMMA, stone the crows, it’s a miracle!

METHOD

Stir 1 heaped tsp of bicarb into a mug of warm water, take to the shower/bath with you. Wet your hair, pour the mixture over your hair and massage in to your scalp as usual. Don’t be alarmed by the lack of suds, contrary to popular belief bubbles DON’T make things cleaner!

CONDITIONER RECIPE

2 tbsp of apple cider vinegar in a large mug of warm water

METHOD

Pour the mixture slowly over your hair, it works like a rinse. Avoid eye contact!! I leave it in for a few minutes before rinsing. This shit is the BOMBDIGGITY!

Shiny disco ball…

Your hair will be more shiny than a teenagers t zone and more dazzling than John Travolta’s false teeth.  People will literally have their minds blown out of their skulls in sheer wonderment, be careful where you point it!

Tip #1 – use luke warm water to rinse, this helps with shine and doesn’t frazzle your hair.

Tip#2 –  it takes about a week for your hair to rid itself of the previous products and chemicals found in conventional shampoos.  Whilst you go through this transition your hair may feel heavy and greasy,  give it a chance to settle before you give up hope! Healthy, shiny and chemical free hair is worth the wait, I promise!

Fact; most modern shampoos are made with synthetic components, whilst your hair appears to be healthy and sleek, it is actually more of a man-made shine. These chemicals aren’t particularly good for you or the environment.

EGGSTRA-ORDINARY DEEP CONDITIONING RECIPE

1 egg, beaten (more depending on your hair length or the amount of heads you plan to smother)
2 TBS of extra virgin olive oil

METHOD

  • Mix the egg and olive oil together in a bowl
  • Wet you hair
  • Smooth on the mixture
  • Wrap your head in a towel and leave for 20 minutes
  • Wash off under luke warm water, any hotter could result in scrambled eggs…in your hair. NOT, I repeat NOT the desired effect!

* I use the egg conditioner a couple of times a month just to give my tresses a little eggy treat. Any more shine and I could be considered a public liability, people would literally be dazzled blind!

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