My question is this; who the hell invented this modern day Christmas lunacy?
Whoever it was, I’d like to offer them a wholehearted plethora of festive profanities!! You’ve driven’ everyone stir crazy!
I’m damn sure that somehow we are totally missing the point. Its nice that we all get together but what’s with the frantic shopping, shopping SHOPPING!!!? Subtle yet insidious marketing whispers to us all year round ‘if you buy this brand everyone will think you’re awesome’ or ‘buy that and your family will love you more.’ By the end of the year every crumb of our very being screams BUY MORE STUFF! The Christmas tradition seems to have disintegrated into a hideous festival of consumerism!
The original Christmas party bares it’s roots from a very Roman affair. Always up for a reason to get naked and drunk, they created a kick-ass festival to celebrate their god, Saturn. For the entire month of December they would party like rockstars, dish out gifts and do naughty sexy stuff that was usually prohibited. Saturnalia was a time of freedom and pleasure without consequence. The Christians later ‘borrowed’ this festive idea and used it as a way to persuade people to convert to Christianity. As reinforcement they only went and bought out the big guns, St Nic himself! A few hundred years later Christmas was stolen AGAIN, this time by Coca Cola.
This Roman soiree is a far cry from the modern image of Christmas time. Aggressive last minute shopping, cataclysmic queuing and fighting for car park spaces have replaced scenes of mass festivity and party good times. Where did we go wrong?!
I say lets take a leaf out of the Romans book, and as they say…”when in Rome…do as the Romans do!”
Take a deep breath, a good slug of mead and get our Saturnalia on! There is more to life than extreme stress, near bankruptcy and premature greying! Life is about doing stuff, not stuff itself.
So with this in mind, here are a few EASY homemade and heartfelt Christmas gifts ideas. Invite your best mate over for a craft and wine night. It’s not quite a Roman orgy, but 100% more fun than a night muscling your way around overcrowded department stores that resemble more of a stinky sweaty mosh-pit than a good-will incubator.
Spend fun time with other humans making cool and bankruptcy free gifts that other humans will actually appreciate.
Lemony scubby good times, and best of all EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZEY to make. Save up some jars and use ribbon to decorate.
Raw.Chocolate.Balls.Of.Joy…need I say more? Make them a little gift box house and they make for excellent Christmas treat. If you can resist the desire to shovel them all into your face that is!
Apparently melted Crayola crayons make the best colour for these badboys.
Kahlua, vodka and milk. That is all.
Because everyone secretly loves a ginger.